I CAN'T BREATHE

- its like i gave every last bit of oxygen i had and fed it to him in hopes he would sustain my lungs for the life time he had promised me

- its as if  i can feel my body beg me to get it back - to take back everything i gave while knowing it would be impossible to regain - as if my soul only knows how to sing when his there to keep the melody going - when it was my song all along

- my hands wrote the lyrics - my body molded the instrumental - my spirit added the meaning and my voice was the only voice who sang OUR SONG.
and now i'm here trying to learn the very song that only i took part in creating .

I cant breath - its as if i gave every last bit of oxygen i had and fed it to him in hopes he would see me gasping for air and notice that i needed some for myself - but he kept eating - he was greedy - it felt good to feel full - even at the downfall of my constant hunger .

I have been starving - craving a lucid dream of perfection and its turned me to skin and bone beyond the physicality -its dug so deep that the fullness within me melted away while i held onto something i didn't even have in my hand . I couldn't feel it yet i gripped it so tightly - I had no confirmation if it was really there or if it only existed in my mind when my eyes were closed and there world around me went

- I CANT BREATH -
because i don't want to - i don't want to have to breath new air when yours was my favorite sent

- you were my favorite sent -

i don't want to have to breath because that means i'm still alive - that means tomorrow is still coming - that means i have to keep going and keep moving without you - and although i know i need to - i don't want to - because in the midst of the storms that caved around us you remained my solitude
- and maybe my hope over powered my ability to be rational but there was nothing rational about our love right ?  

but that's not the point

- the point is i need to breath and i'm still searching for that oxygen in the palm of your hands but i'm a fool .
your hands haven't been here for so long that i have forgotten what its like to be touched by you -  i can't breath - and i'm beginning to enjoy the suffocating feeling because slowly i know ill be reborn again - somehow - its gonna all be worth it  

- I CANT BREATH -

because i don't want to - and maybe tomorrow i will feel differently - but right now i'm going to feel every second of this torture , every piercing ache and every drowning pain maybe that way it will all click to me - maybe that way it will be easier to let you go