I used to search for
love and soft
words whispered in my
ear
and [brush the hair back
from my eyes]

for hands on hands
cold fingers entwined

dodging rain drops
with your arm over my head to
keep my fried hair
dry.

I used to search for
your gaze
eyes drilling a hole in
me
and [drill until I'm weak in
in the knees]

the laughter
the blush of the cheek

dodging judgment
with my hand in front of me to
keep my sensitivity
dry.

But now I do not search for

love.

I do not care at all.