I do not miss him
I only miss the potential future I would have had with him

I knew this for months
but I was a selfish coward
unable to admit to myself that I was settling
I almost settled for something I knew I didn't want
simply because I wanted so badly to get it right

I didn't want to disappoint anyone especially him
I knew how much he wanted this
how much he wanted me
so I tried to force it
but it was fake

the more I dragged it out the more I hurt him
and so I left
unexpectedly to him
but to me it was a relief
no longer was I settling
I was finally choosing what was best for me

for so long I felt trapped
knowing someone better for me was out there waiting

to think that I almost gave that up
to think that if I had settled
I never would have met you

our future is unknown
maybe even non-existent
but that wouldn't change how I feel

and I am finally comfortable with that