In the night sleep does not tend to me
An emptiness lies in its wake
It begins again and then there's nothing
Surging nothingness but breathless it does not leave me
And then guilt takes its place as I recollect on it
On what has left me to what I am today
And how word by word
Step by step I got to this very place
And how I should have seen it coming
But how transformative this is
How I become angry
I am left alone sitting in the dark and angry
A festering rage that blinds me while I stare endlessly at the wall as if it feels what I am
As if it can understand and tend to the pyre
Offering nothing but nothingness I try again each night
And maybe once it will be different
And it will all make sense