What did I expect
What should I have expected
To no longer be still in my longings
And in understanding of my thoughts
I thought for a brief moment the stars shown dimly
Above a dying soil, above me
I could trace with weak fingers the pattern I believed was coming to life
Vivified and here to whisper the secret words I once desired
I trip along the cobblestone
kicking up dust and scuffing my sole
Patterns unthreading in the night
I lost my place once more
And I am unsure of what’s above me
So softly they glow to me and caress me as you do
But blue is the night and the density of their warmth is uncompaired to yours
You fill me with something temporary and under the same sky with fresh air touching your skin
I know you don’t look at me the same without the blanket of a empty square room
Can I do better?
Is this a question that I am even allowed to ask myself?
It fills me with something that not even stars can sooth in my nighttime aching
Everything is okay, everything is happening as it should they would whisper to me
But you deserve better of me
I deserve better of myself