1.
the only bond i have
  and can trust, is emotional
tears validate
my truthfulness

as if my heart is ripped out of my chest
this is my proof
that i am one with you

but they got to me far
    far before this
and i cut my own tongue
with an updated
blade


2.
or it could be painless
only despair like a gray overcast sky
before the storm

despair is overused to the point
it loses its power
but each time we utter it
feeling its gravity
it is renewed once more

the curse of our times

is it not sad that
we mean what we say

3.
i get used to talking
in circles
in riddles
through
incorrect
     metaphors

it’s not a stylistic choice but in my blood
the fear inflated gobbles me

before the flood

that’s how power works that’s how discipline
works it gets you from within
and i can’t win

4.
if sincerity means anything,
it’s this: i do not know if i act
out of duty justice or a love for
romanticism, but i know i keep
silent out of habitual fear and that
keeps me from action in all forms
it’s silly but this is a small
personal resistance made with
words and my own fractured
thoughts

i am scared of blood and bullets