And I thought of all the people
I so desperately wished I could
Stick my broken hands into
And rearrange their hearts to make
Them love me
And I thought of the million ways
I mutilated myself to fit the mould
Of another persons needs
And I felt the presence of absence
All over again
And I thought of the serenity prayer
They say in AA meetings,
The part about accepting
The things you cannot change,
The courage to change the things you can and the wisdom to know
The difference and I started to cry
Because if the sky can rain one minute and snow the next without
Knowing the difference
Then how on earth can I even fathom
Accepting the fact that I cannot
Even begin to tell you the root of
How I first began to rot?
Because you won’t listen and I won’t spill and my heart is an empty shell I wish you’d fill
But you can’t and you won’t
And there’s no way around it but
If I can’t accept it at least I can
Think about it
And thinking is not better than
Accepting
But it’s something
And something is always
Better than nothing.