"It's been three months and your name still lingers on my mouth like bittersweet chocolate. I wish I could hate you, I wish I could take the realizations of your toxicity in my life and concoct some pure hatred towards you and your selfishness. But I can't because I will always love you and how can I hate you when I wouldn't even be who I am without you. And I know that she wants me to hate you too and if my angel knew that I was sitting here talking to the silent devil on my shoulder I don’t think I would ever be forgiven. but my angel is a little close-minded, she doesn't understand that I needed you, and sometimes I still do. You told me you never wanted to be treated like a cigarette, to be smoked up, stomped out and ignored like a *****. You wanted to be the drug in my veins, something I couldn't live without. You wanted to be the air I breathe. And you were, oh you still are. But that's the thing about drugs and oxygen, they don't need you like you need them, they don't want you like you want them. Everyone always tell you quitting a substance is easier after the first month but it’s been three months and if you were like any other drug, I would have forgotten about you already but I anytime my lips burn with gin, I can't help but start calling for you or calling you. I can't tell if I'm drinking because of you or to forget you, nothing makes sense without you.
everything before you is gone and after you is agony.
Why don't you ever call me back, you ******* bi- **** I’m sorry. I'm so sorry-
I don't even know what I m sorry for- you left me.”