And it’s the darkness in me that draws me to the sunshine in you
Like perhaps one day I could make it to that place and I could feel like something might be okay.
But since it’s today rather than someday I’ll stay away and keep my mind locked inside the confines of these pages
You see, it’s that bright light in your eyes that helps blind me from seeing what an ugly truth we turned out to be.
You’re something sweet that I could never need despite my deficiencies.
So tonight I’ll play the slow tunes, just like you always liked.
We could dance around the room pretending we’re not stepping on each others shoes.
So tell me how to move and I’ll move mountains,
In spite of being outside of the right side of my mind I can’t help but find your smile to tug at my corroded heart strings,
We breath deeply when all that surrounds us is dust and debris
I slip slowly into sleep
Despite these tired eyes
I’ve found rest somewhere along these blurred lines.
Crisp as a winters morning, caressing the curve that run down your sides.
The smooth lines in your collar taste sweet, and it’s unique.
Because I don’t need this,
I don’t need to step over any of these lines because it’s the lines themselves I find most appealing.
And it’s the softness of your lips that leave me reeling
So tell me what to say,
In this competition of how quickly we can step away before the pitfalls of emotion grasp our heartstrings and pull us into something we can’t escape from.
So tell me what to do,
So that me and you might have the tools to choose our fate in a way we couldn’t or wouldn’t at some earlier time
And perhaps we could find some common ground where we could build the foundation of this house we keep our lies inside
We keep our hearts tucked behind the things we keep alive
Because these things keep us confined in a place where we feel safe,
In this house where brokenness is commonplace
I want to see the stars,
Somewhere far from where we are we let go
We let go
Of all the things that once gave us hope
Because the last thing we want to do is keep feeling this way, like maybe one of us will change cause we won’t
Like maybe we’ll find love somewhere inside all the lies we tell ourselves to bide our time
With a gasp we pass at opportunity,
Because we cannot or won’t
Of this we’re never sure
And in turn we burn the midnight hour doing things we know we shouldn’t
Running through thoughts we wouldn’t at any earlier time of day
We find in times of turmoil the easiest to turn away,
We have our own worries and troubles.
And it’s this distance that offers us intrinsic value,
Like cold shoulders have been our most valuable currency since day one and we don’t know how to trade in anything else anymore.
So here I lay in a bed of roses hoping to breath you in one last time.
And that’s why I feel so possessive of your time because time is all I have to offer
I’m not patient, nor am I kind
I am just like him in more ways than I wish to admit.
I died my hair mostly because I like it.
But somewhere else was a hope that the bleach would seep into my brain,
Maybe lighten up my mind in a way that might make me appealing to someone some day.
My good traits expired when I was significantly younger,
I talk too much,
I’m too quiet,
My skins bumps and cracks to reveal a spiteful angry interior,
I have a temper,
I don’t listen very well,
I don’t talk enough,
I ask too many questions but don’t want the answers.
Because it’s truly me I fear somewhere inside a confident facade.
I try to find the lines between who I want to be and who I once was,
It’s blurry here.
And everything I fear coexists inside my feelings for a girl I barely know
And it’s somewhere far away I hope we’ll go so maybe I can start over yet again and be something someday
But that somethings nothing new
A reinvention of a rusty tin can
Is still a rusty tin can
I’m just hope hoping I can rattle around the sounds you make as you shoot for the stars
My head pressed against the glass
Hoping we could be more than just two people with a past
And it’s here I fear my journey ends because I was always earthbound
I’m not sure I have the strength to stay in town
Because you’re the bull in the china shop of my mind
And it’s with each passing day I find a little more of my facade shatters and soon you’ll see that I’m not all I’m cracked up to be I’ve never been courageous unless we’re playing pretend and this got real far too quickly for me to comprehend
So it’s to that end I run as fast as my words can carry me until there’s nothing left of me and you but just a someone I once knew
And yet I can’t help but get these butterflies when I see you and these butterflies feel like they’re eating me from inside
And so what if this isn’t real,
I FEEL it.
I’m
Like a child standing before a storm I am afraid.
I long for a hand to hold,
And I hope that hand to be yours,
So I’ll stand perfectly still,
In hopes that you won’t see through me and my glass visage.
I stand in a broken home,
Thinking of why I can’t just hold my tongue.
So I’ll take a swig of this confidence and tell you how I feel.
I know how this will end, and that’s what makes it so nerve wracking.
I don’t trust me anymore,
I’ve been dreaming of a day that I realize now will never come.
A day where we’re something more than just two people with a past,
And perhaps I’m not built to last,
And perhaps you are,
And that’s why we’re always so far apart