I was alone, no place truly felt like home
I met people, but held no connection
I walked, basically, wallowed for days
Slowly days became weeks
Weeks into months
Months transformed into years.

But i was bound by solitude, living out of servitude, because life would be wasted,
With or without purpose.
I was blind, not by reality nor in faith
But in ignorance, that life could mean something.

With Jaded Eyes I'd look to the sky, blue but my soul grey.
Uttered words without aim or perseverance
"Give me a blessing"
Yet life continued, the same rhythm never ending.
Until a change, an unexpected one
A feared one.

She smiled, she beguiled and she pierced what i once thought dead.
A silent heart beat, erratically
I loved,
I loved long, hard, intimately, passionately and earnestly.
I defined dedication.

Slowly days turned to weeks
Weeks into months
Months transformed to years,
3, 3 years living in love,
Living with a new rhythm,
The beat so melodic.

Now.

History repeats, a change introduced,
I loved, she didn't, she pierced
what now lived.
A happy heart now bleeds,
I cried long, hard, desperately, painfully and earnestly.
I defined broken.

With Dead Eyes I'd look to the sky, grey but my soul shattered.
Uttered words with anger and hate
"You took my blessing"
It rained like the tears along my face,
The wind blew with an answer, hidden.

'She was not your blessing. You were hers.'

'Your time will come.'

Slowly the days will turn to weeks
Those weeks into months
Then months transformed to years
Still i walk, so listen
With clear eyes and an open soul
I speak to you.
Wherever you are.
If you are out there, then.

So am I

Dear Blessing of mine

Love.
Your Blessing.