I'm afraid.. that she won't remember..
That I am her daughter...

I'm afraid.. that she won't remember..
The sound of my voice or even what I look like..

They would tell me the same thing
     Everyday...
That she would get better..
But she never did...
She would ask questions over and over..
She takes longer than usual at
Everything..
She would get angry
For no reason..
She would laugh and be happy
And that makes me worry...
She said that she can see and talk to dad...
That's impossible...
he died
When I was three
So how can she see him but I can't
How can she remember what he looks like..
And everyday she asks me
Who am I ?...
And that hurt deep inside...

I would tell her doctors
What she says
They would say what they always say...
That I gotta hope for the best..
That she would get better..
But this time
I knew they were lying...
She wasn't getting any better
She would never be the same again...
I miss the way
She talked to me
It made me feel..
That I was worth loving..
I miss the way
She did things..
The way she motivated me..
To do my very best..
To help others...
I miss the old her..
U know...
I wish things would go back
To the way it was...
I want her to tell me
what I should do
When I get scared...
To tell that I'm strong..
And that I'm beautiful....
To tell me who I really am..
But how can she..
She can't even
remember Me....

I wish I can see him too
U know...
Or maybe just hear his voice..
For the very first time..
I secretly wish that I was her...
Just to experience those things
With him..
To see his face..
To know what he looks like...
To constantly not be worrying about
Someone who's happy...
For her to tell me
That its okay to cry..
Its okay.. To break down..
As long as I get back up..
And to hold me like she did...
when I was a child..
But how can she..
She doesn't even remember
me..

I'm Afraid that she won't
Accept me..
As part of her..
I'm afraid that she won't..
Love me the same....
N most of all
I'm afraid that things have changed....
And that I have loss my mother....
To this big monster....