do i settle?
fall into a groove of "just good enough"
in her absence?
do i let the pleasant smiles and
half-conscious coversations with
pretty faces and quaint personalities
tempt me?

a quarter drops through the public telescope and i see my life for a moment, in ideals. not what it's become, an efficient machine that serves only to drift through days spouting polite hellos.
no,
i see the way i've always wanted to be in love,
not planning my every move and measuring my words like a rookie chef.
not laboring over a mask to conceal the parts i'm scared to show.
i see hands intertwined in genuine appreciation
acceptance
the rarity of knowing another.

do i give up?
no, i wait.
i'll keep my promise.
to you
and to me