Am I deliberately destroying myself ?

Maybe ?

Probably !

But;

Why so slowly though ?

Especially

If I am as unhappy as I feel most days ?

Watching skinny feral cats prowling for scraps.

It hurts me so...

Just about ruins my day.

Most of you will never understand that

Because;
you're not me !

I know,

being a realist that I can't save them all.

Nor people that senselessly **** each other everyday !

I have a heart that never feels whole.

Because it's always breaking.

So I think;

keep drinking that alcohol,

eventually it will **** you.

But I swear most days,

i'd like it faster......

and,

it's just then I think,

I want to live forever with Jesus !

So I cling to alcohol

and continue to **** myself slowly.



written by me... ..