I am unfortunately out of practice,
I have given you into the hands of my laziness and neglectful nature,
They are unkind masters,
They like to make me forget that good things require attention,
Else good things grow tainted with tarnish,
Your polished glory was only known when I remembered to care,
Must I communicate with you,
Resurrecting you from the dead?
Or are you my communication and I must learn to speak again?
As sleeping beauty,
You are sleeping inside of me,
Your lifeless form is sustained by only the guilted glances from my mind,
I acknowledge you existence,
But something hinders me from shaking you,
Waking you,
Ripping you from your slumbering prison,
To replace you to your seat of importance,
Why hold back?
I know the reward of your company,
Yet I am content in complacency!
I am the one sleeping,
But beauty does not grace my bed,
I am betrayed by the unfeeling safety l cling to,
To work,
To make an effort,
Not only is it hard,
Exhausting,
But it is a risk,
Fear of falling,
Of failing,
Of losing,
Of letting down,
This fear has replaced you as my best friend,
It drives my actions,
My passions,
It claims my best interest,
Delusional,
Self-centered,
It looks out only for itself,
“You know better.”
Whispers,
As though talking into my dreaming,
You insist truth,
Truth is the only thing that might overcome fear,
If one could just let the truth in,
One could wake up,
I could wake up,
You, thought to be the sleeper,
You are screaming from my heart,
But Fear also screams,
Fear is afraid,
It chokes my heart,
Trying to silence your pleas,
The war in my chest breaks my trance,
Wake me up!
Oh for God’s sake, wake me up!
I want to live again!
Was life granted only to sleep in safety?
I was made to feel!
To speak and express and converse and love and use my gifts,
Fear be damned!
I was made to be with you,
You are my heart,
Hold me tight and never let me forget you again,
Never let me fall asleep.