too full of life to be half-loved. who could deny that i have loved? deeply without holding back, constantly trying not to slack. i have loved with and without words. can't be loved at all if it's done half way. i want to feel that you care and love with no reserve, and that you gently curse my trust issues when they occur.
too full of life to be half-loved. too many scenarios in my head, too many times have i lost you in my head.. but do tell... am i being paranoid or just learning from experiences? tired of things turning out less than i felt when things hit you from all sides. tired of hearing it, just want to feel it. i want to feel that i can trust. unless i can, all efforts towards gaining my trust are lost.
too full of life to be half-loved, too full of light to be enclosed in uncertainty. too free for life to be hand-cuffed, emprisoned by your affinities. affinities that only you describe as love, but i can see... i can see what you might see in me: smart? mature? calm? i get it.. i also entered love by that same door. i almost deterred my hidden insecurities then turned my back on love through that same door. i always want more. maybe love isn't what i'm looking for, maybe for this feeling i have different meanings. like save me from my own dirt, like always put me first, like i do what i want and you can't, like why don't i wear the pants? for sure.. i go from hating to loving in the same year so i'm not even sure. indecisive, manipulative and self love is my only cure.
too full of life to not self-love. who fooled me into thinking i can't be loved? there's nothing you can give me that i can't offer myself. no doctor than myself to heal my mental health. no brag, no thinking i'm all that baby i'm all that and more. doesn't mean i can't love, but i love myself more. musn't mean i can't have you and a little more ...