Hey there, Anxiety
How are you doing today?
Deciding to claw me down again?
Sure, I'm already your victim
I'm just tired of pretending that I'm okay even when I'm not
You've left me shattered
The darkness I used to be once scared of is what I am filled up with today
I just wake up everyday, go out there and smile and grin like nothing ever happened
But behind that every grin and smile, there is a demon
A demon making me crack my knuckles
A demon making me bite the inside of my cheek
A demon making me gnaw my bottom lip
A demon making me shake my leg so fast that I don't ever realise it
A demon making me climb to the rooftop everyday for a getaway
A getaway from the people around me
A getaway from the reality
A getaway from my thoughts
A getaway from my soul
And just as soon as I think I'm fine, there it is again
Pulling me down into a puddle I can't swim in
An ocean full of sharks
Eyeing me like they are gonna **** me right away
I need somebody to hold me and tell me everything is alright
The molecules inside me undergo a change every second
A moment I'm so happy without knowing the reason why
And the very next second, I'm crying like my whole life is a lie
My biggest fear now is not you, Anxiety
My biggest fear now is reality
I'm too afraid to have a reality check
Coz my reality is me against the whole world
Just barely a second before I fall down on my knees
And shatter my own bones
And slit my own wrist to escape this
I need a parallel world in which everything is not like this
A world where I am accepted for who I am without my fun being made
Where there is no you, dear anxiety
Where I am free to fly like wind and flow like a river
Where I can face myself in the mirror
But then I snap back to reality
And When I look in the mirror
I don't see my reflection
I see an introvert you've created, Anxiety
My reflection is you
And this might not make sense to everyone when I say this
But deep in my heart I know
That there is one person
In one corner of this world
Who understands what I mean when I say this,
Sometimes you don't need an escape from the world,
You need an escape from your own soul
So eat me all you want Anxiety
Turn me into the person you want me to be
I know I'm halfway there
I will not fight you
I will not oppose you
I will not counter you
I am standing right here
I was always standing right here
    
                            -Pallavi