To say what I want to say And not sound sad, or crazed I'd seem for sure suicidal It's an issue that leaves me misplaced How can I say how much I hate And the little I love Without trying to say that the World that I know holds such disdain I can say at least, I'm content IΒ Β miss the blisters though And the rips and sores I was kept healthy by a body that I had created war torn It was no cry for help All it was, was for me It was just releasing what I felt
But yet it made me live in fear Not of me, or myself But for the stigma it made And the offers of help The grief in the family and The friends who couldn't bear it They all made me embarrassed And I felt so weak in return How could I contract a disease This disease of the meek I couldn't bare my arms so Sleeves became my brothers Then the breakdowns came Once scars were seen by others And then the collapse was complete Disaster from problem from nothing
I was forced off of it By claims I was addicted Like a razor blade was a drug And there were reasons that I needed it And I get your point of view But you won't ever know mine 'Cause nobody our age ever Did this in the older times Like **** man, it's such a shame Your buddy there cut himself, yet again And I've been waiting for the okay That I know I'll never get 'Cause it's off the table To exchange pain for pain But maybe here's some pills C'mon, kid, they could make you change
'Cause it's a chemical imbalance And we've discovered a fix So just get your fix With a swallow and a twist Never mind the bands that help you Or the poems that know you This isn't how God had made you So clearly the devil sought you out And I know you won't **** yourself but It helps if I think that way So it's a compulsion, not a want It's just something I won't allow I'd be disappointed if you sliced again This isn't why the body was meant Tell me what we need to mend I'll pull you off my designated ledge
I'm not imagining things, I swear Look darling, you're off the deep end here But wait, what could you do I decided to stop and I did it all for you If I picked up again You'd say all the same old things But you can't really stop me Or at least, I believe Sacrifice my frame of mind Just for everyone else I'm so sick and tired though Of you questioning mental health You could sit back and accept it For whatever it's become 'Cause I don't see a fault line So I don't have a problem
If anybody stuck with this, I know it's not too great, and I know it's EXTREMELY long, but it's just a bunch of stuff I had to throw out there. Might be a bit rantish or whining or whatever, but I have to let loose. Please don't judge..