for so long
i’ve been guarding myself
against the world
i know the feelings are true
that you love me
and i do too
but i’m scared to fall
afraid to hit the ground and s h a t t e r
like the way it was before

every time i get happy
hearing those sweet words and blush
my mind beats against my heart
reminds me that i’ve been broken
the past haunts
stealing away the present
why?
i don’t know...

when i find myself taking screenshots of our midnight conversations
something tells me that i’m in trouble
“oh no, stop it right now girl! you know this won’t end well, why try in the first place?”

so i find myself back here
pacing back and forth
alone in this matrix
wondering if i’ve dodged a bullet
or lost the love of my life.