We held each other.
Just like we had almost every night before.
But it was different this time.
This time I knew....
I knew you were leaving.
The way your arms fell around mine....
that's how I knew.
The way you hugged me in the morning;
long and silent.
I spent all day at work in a haze.
You never left my thoughts that day.
I thought of you on the road heading down to a nightmare.
A nightmare that you accepted as your fate.
I knew you were being noble.
Doing what you knew was right.
What I knew was right.
My day was slow.
But my night was slower without you.
I cried myself into a coma that lasted 24 hours.
Only to wake the next days with swollen eyes to turn to where you used to be....
hoping maybe you'd be there by some miracle.
I always believed in false hope because of the way you made me feel.
I think back to that lonely night often.
And when you told me you came back but the door was locked.
I was unresponsive from exhaustion.
I never locked my door after that night hoping maybe you'd walk through again.
With that same gleam in your eye I saw before.
But things are forever changed and you've broken my heart too many times since.
So can someone tell me why tonight I sit and wish....
Wish I could go back and keep my door unlocked so things would be different.
And I still had a chance to show you how much you mean.