Where has my self respect gone? I had it mere moments ago and in the presence of a boy it melted
through the cracks of desperation. Silly girl, he doesn’t care about your feelings.
Arches upon arches I seem to make leaning this way and that to make one **** date
But I ask myself
is it worth it?
Is it worth the self hate?
Is it worth the self loathing
And the eyes that bear no mercy
The unforgiving judgement I feel when I look into the mirror where I see myself looking back with disgust and a far off distant look in her eyes
a different body maybe and he’d pay more attention?
Is it worth tossing in my sleep unable to stop the train of thought racing through my mind, filling my head with thick black smoke of self pity?
Is it worth not being able to love myself in order to love him?