maneki neko
waves at me
from his perch amidst
eyeshadow and pencils and notebooks and lipstick
his head
reflects the lamp
above my head
he has not made me
very lucky,
in fact
since i got him
things have
steadily declned
it hurts now
just to breathe
just to live
maneki neko
with his grand coins
and little solar panel
gilded with red and gold
he waves his paw
at me
as if to say
‘keep at it,
something good
will happen soon’
i go to therapy today
to authorize my therapist
to talk to my mother
about my problems
because that’s what they are
problems
without
solutions
because, mom says, in her emails
that the lady reads me,
she’s worried
she’s concerned
for my future
yes, there’s the rub
always going on
about
my future
maneki neko
with his paw curled and beckoning
waves at me
from his bright red stand
despite everything
i keep
the desk lamp
on
the next day
i bring it up
‘you don’t really
care that much
do you
you just
want exactly what
you had in mind
for a kid’
maneki neko
gleams in the fluorescent light
waving
endlessly
at nothing in particular
i love you
i love you
i love you
maneki neko
with his ears perked
and arm at the ready
has stopped
moving