May 2019
no way out
no way out
So the day has come, it's finally here
I've never felt such dread and fear
I've been kidding myself and it's no longer funny
the clouds have turned dark
where it used to be sunny
it's got to the point I just can't ignore
I'm in denial but I know the score
I feel trapped in my mind
And I just can't escape
just plodding along
hoping for the sky to break
but the clouds go darker
the storms about to come
im cowering like a child
all I want is my mum
To hold me close and make everything better
but the rain just gets harder and i get wetter and wetter
but I shouldn't be relying on my mum to help me through the storm
instead I should be taking care of my own first born
And I know I'm being selfish and he should come first
I'm dying inside feeling the worst
It's hard not to feel selfish
I know I'm heading down a dark road
my head and heart both in comp about to explode
I know in my head what I should be doing
but atm I just can't and my head is *******
all I can think is how he deserves better than me
but I will never give up and I know one day I can be
the mum he deserves and not mess his head up
LOL SOUNDS LIKE THE 60,000,000 QUESTION
So wish me good luck
I've been struggling so long but the bubble just popped
And for all those I have fooled
now the penny has dropped
I just kept telling myself
that I could get myself straight
But im thinking it's all to little to late
how could I do this when I am a mum
I should be grateful as I more lucky than some
I know most will judge, she just a bad mother
but I truly want to make it good and I know I can recover
I just don't know where to begin
I'm blinded by the storm
looking for some sanctuary a shelter to get warm
Who will open their door and welcome me in
So the start of a new journey for me can begin
Who will wait it out with me so I'm not waiting alone
all i need is one person to make it feel like home
just to ride it out with me until the sky turns clear
And all the Dark and stormy clouds have truly disappeared
And when it all goes silent and i think the storm has passed
I wont get ahead of myself as I know
it may not last
For just like when a tornado goes quiet
And you think you've broken through
life is like the eye of the storm
waiting to sneak up on you
And then before you know it
the full force comes down on me
I feel like Dorothy swept away to some far off land I've never seen
but unlike her , following the yellow brick road has not8 worked out for me
For there is no emerald city waiting on the other end for me.
So with no path clear and now not sure which way that I should turn
im sat wondering to myself if I'll ever learn
For I'm looking around at all the debris
And the all the mess I'm in
and you know I'm not a cleaner so have no idea where to begin
But lucky for me
I hopefully got a good three
amazing helpers there for me
I'm not expecting them to fly in and
clean up all my ****
But may be with a bit of guidance
I can get there bit by bit
no way out
So the day has come, it's finally here
I've never felt such dread and fear
I've been kidding myself and it's no longer funny
the clouds have turned dark
where it used to be sunny
it's got to the point I just can't ignore
I'm in denial but I know the score
I feel trapped in my mind
And I just can't escape
just plodding along
hoping for the sky to break
but the clouds go darker
the storms about to come
im cowering like a child
all I want is my mum
To hold me close and make everything better
but the rain just gets harder and i get wetter and wetter
but I shouldn't be relying on my mum to help me through the storm
instead I should be taking care of my own first born
And I know I'm being selfish and he should come first
I'm dying inside feeling the worst
It's hard not to feel selfish
I know I'm heading down a dark road
my head and heart both in comp about to explode
I know in my head what I should be doing
but atm I just can't and my head is *******
all I can think is how he deserves better than me
but I will never give up and I know one day I can be
the mum he deserves and not mess his head up
LOL SOUNDS LIKE THE 60,000,000 QUESTION
So wish me good luck
I've been struggling so long but the bubble just popped
And for all those I have fooled
now the penny has dropped
I just kept telling myself
that I could get myself straight
But im thinking it's all to little to late
how could I do this when I am a mum
I should be grateful as I more lucky than some
I know most will judge, she just a bad mother
but I truly want to make it good and I know I can recover
I just don't know where to begin
I'm blinded by the storm
looking for some sanctuary a shelter to get warm
Who will open their door and welcome me in
So the start of a new journey for me can begin
Who will wait it out with me so I'm not waiting alone
all i need is one person to make it feel like home
just to ride it out with me until the sky turns clear
And all the Dark and stormy clouds have truly disappeared
And when it all goes silent and i think the storm has passed
I wont get ahead of myself as I know
it may not last
For just like when a tornado goes quiet
And you think you've broken through
life is like the eye of the storm
waiting to sneak up on you
And then before you know it
the full force comes down on me
I feel like Dorothy swept away to some far off land I've never seen
but unlike her , following the yellow brick road has not8 worked out for me
For there is no emerald city waiting on the other end for me.
So with no path clear and now not sure which way that I should turn
im sat wondering to myself if I'll ever learn
For I'm looking around at all the debris
And the all the mess I'm in
and you know I'm not a cleaner so have no idea where to begin
But lucky for me
I hopefully got a good three
amazing helpers there for me
I'm not expecting them to fly in and
clean up all my ****
But may be with a bit of guidance
I can get there bit by bit
