May 2019
Here I am again thinking of you
No sleep
Heart ache
Wishing you could forgive every mistake
Your voice slowly becoming a whisper in the wind taking every memory of you away
The reason for these tears running down my face
Feeling in what now appears to be an empty world that I've become some how outta place
Like an angel who's fallen from grace
Burning ashes at my feet
Begging for this all to be a bad dream
I'm screaming please
If only you wouldn't leave you'd be able to see that you'd no longer need to be disappointed in me
20 words that seem to be running on repeat in my head until I'm wishing I was dead
Numb to all but the pain of knowing I'm the one to blame
"I'm sorry" I keep saying until my voice gives way
The music of my heart slowly fading away as the silence begins to play
Wondering if this is the way everything was meant to be because of every selfish action I decided to take in place of the love you tried to display
Despite each time I had taken it and thrown it away
Never thinking that one day it'd be the one thing I'd miss more then anything
Memories of those days by your side seem to now be slipping goodbye into the endless grey of yesterday
Can you promise you'll at least remember me when there's nothing left for me but regret for you to see when you look at me
Each day finding its getting harder to breathe
Finding it easier to be angry at you but only seeing me when looking for you in this reflection of everything we use to be
This misery
I didn't think it would ever come to be
The greed
Wanting there to be more then just me in the words of "you and me" when I speak
Pleading
That the misery bleeds away and the greed becomes something I no longer need
So Father
Won't you find it in you to understand how far I've come to just reach out with this hand
Steady and free of doubt that you'd come to see no disgrace in the sins I've washed away
Accepting the fact I'll never get my wings back
Asking for only the words "it's okay" so I can continue making it through another day
Father
I'm truly sorry
Lost in this poetry of misery
My last memory
My only reality
Hopefully it won't end with just me
Father please
No sleep
Heart ache
Wishing you could forgive every mistake
Your voice slowly becoming a whisper in the wind taking every memory of you away
The reason for these tears running down my face
Feeling in what now appears to be an empty world that I've become some how outta place
Like an angel who's fallen from grace
Burning ashes at my feet
Begging for this all to be a bad dream
I'm screaming please
If only you wouldn't leave you'd be able to see that you'd no longer need to be disappointed in me
20 words that seem to be running on repeat in my head until I'm wishing I was dead
Numb to all but the pain of knowing I'm the one to blame
"I'm sorry" I keep saying until my voice gives way
The music of my heart slowly fading away as the silence begins to play
Wondering if this is the way everything was meant to be because of every selfish action I decided to take in place of the love you tried to display
Despite each time I had taken it and thrown it away
Never thinking that one day it'd be the one thing I'd miss more then anything
Memories of those days by your side seem to now be slipping goodbye into the endless grey of yesterday
Can you promise you'll at least remember me when there's nothing left for me but regret for you to see when you look at me
Each day finding its getting harder to breathe
Finding it easier to be angry at you but only seeing me when looking for you in this reflection of everything we use to be
This misery
I didn't think it would ever come to be
The greed
Wanting there to be more then just me in the words of "you and me" when I speak
Pleading
That the misery bleeds away and the greed becomes something I no longer need
So Father
Won't you find it in you to understand how far I've come to just reach out with this hand
Steady and free of doubt that you'd come to see no disgrace in the sins I've washed away
Accepting the fact I'll never get my wings back
Asking for only the words "it's okay" so I can continue making it through another day
Father
I'm truly sorry
Lost in this poetry of misery
My last memory
My only reality
Hopefully it won't end with just me
Father please
