Hi, Hoss,
This is a poem.
I know you’re not really familiar
With yknow…poems
But you’re going to listen
To this one.

First off, I’d like to say
That you’re pompous
That your head couldn’t fit
Through a 90 foot wide door
That I don’t give a ****
About the proper usage of “Your”…

That your beard really isn’t very cool
That I wouldn’t ever braid it
That you’re kind of…a tool...
That if I ever chopped it off
Your personality
Would be at such a loss
You’d probably shrivel into a heap...

In reality,
No one wants to marry some ****
Just because he can grow ***** hair
From his chin.