3 years ago I acted like a complete idiot.
I lost a lot of respect from people I cared about and I lost some good friends. I lost my music and the greatest love of my life. All in a matter of minutes.
Those repercussions are still felt today.
A farewell show with all included and invited but me.
To some this is trivial. To some this may sound pathetic.
But to me, it was everything.
Today, I woke up a broken boy. I feel just as broken as I did in 2016. I feel just as directionless and meaningless as I did then. I feel like my chance at closure, my chance at redemption, and my chance to feel alive the way I used to one more time, is officially and definitively gone in a way i will never know again.
I don’t have a poem in my head, I don’t have any songs in my heart.
Once again, I hold only shame, regret, remorse, anger, and self hate.
I knew your name.
Now we’re just strangers.
I am dead.