I am so tired of loving and not being able to show it.
I am so tired of being loved and not feeling it.
I am so tired of saying, “I’m doing alright, how about you?”
When I don’t give a **** how you are doing. And I’m not alright. I’m far from alright.
You’re stupid enough to have to ask and I hate you, I hate you, I hate you for being so dumb. For everything.
But you are so lovely and so extraordinary that I have to love you.
And I am so dumb for letting my emotions control my words.
And I am so sorry for being unhappy and not being everything you’ve ever wanted.
And I am just so sad.
So sad about my life, being alone, being ugly.
Sad that death is an impending doom. Sad that I’ve run out of drugs and cigarettes to fuel me.
Sad that I’m in love.
Sad that you’re dumb.
Sad that I hate you.
Sad that I’m dumb.
Sad that I love you.
Sad that I’m weak.
But really, I’m just sad that I am sad.