Autumn blows with hints of winter,
Mood descends to match the weather
Sorry I couldn't help you,  and I
Still ain't got my **** together

Spark a stick of nicotine,
And sink into my self-reflecting
Got a whole lot more to say,
And I know it's not what your expecting

Humor wanes,  like crescent moon,
My memory tumbles back to June,
I think of all those promises
That never would be kept

Take 3 deep breaths to clear my mind
Of all the loss I've left behind,
And now I think about it,
Somehow strangely I have never wept
(Yet still I brood on all those
melancholy nights I never slept)

Seems like every time I find
The will to let down my defenses,
Honestly flies out my mouth
Despite my gilded best intentions

Much too late for me to take
Emotions back, and lock them down
I'll flash a wicked rictus grin
Like Pennywise the evil clown

Excavate my rusty hatchet,
Time to chop down olive branches
Tough to slay a dragon for you
Armed with only broken lances

Suffer awful habits as I
Lounge on decomposing laurels
Find myself in crosshairs of
Outrageous Fortune's emptied quarrels

Flick another cancer stick,
Continue with my self-reflection
Yeah, I've still got more to say,
And you might tell from my inflection

Hits a little close to home,
Whose walls are white and stark and bare
I'll whisper to a flirty femme
Who winks at me and twirls her hair

So now I sit and shift my hips
To grind on the lust of another woman
How many months must pass before
I see I was worked up all for nothin'

Lift my eyes from off her thighs
And look into her smiling face
I think I might maintain if I can
Keep the pain in another place