For most of my life I have been in a very bad dark place.                                                Most of my relationships were toxic looking back in hingsight its such a waste               People always seemed to want to control me, I dont know why?                                     I just wanted to be loved not treated like crap and despised.                                        There have been times when I thought about ending it all                                             I was so messed up my head was all over the place.                                                    Trying to keep everyone else happy all around me .                                                    People will say you should only get treated the way you allow yourself to be treated.I am sorry but I dont aggree. The people who treat you like that its their problem .I have been treated like ******* for years through childhood and adulthood. I have had enough its time to stand up for myself and promise myself no more.I am not putting up with this behaviour any more not for one more second.In relationships just because someone does not beat you up it does not mean its not abuse. Always putting someone down always laughing at their plans thats abuse. I feel its emotional always chipping away at their confidence.How could someone say I love you and then treat you like that. Its wrong I have left now and I am not going back. It may be difficult financially but I will have peace every penny I spent had to be checked over by you.You need professional help, not me  you are controlling and thats not normal. You are no longer my problem. I am gone and im not coming back no longer will I feel trapped