Depression

If i am depressed dont try and compete with me
Depression isnt a game or a progression in life
It is an obsession of pain and time that comes back continuesly
Once it hits u fake or not ur gone until u have what ur heart desires
Even if u had to light a thousand fires every night to get it u would
But thats only 5% of it..
.
You will think everythings going to be fine
Yea i guess it will
Just not now
How can things be fine when u commit the crime of hate and abuse to urself sometimes physically and sometimes emotionally
You try and forget all the words they said
Try build new worlds where u could be happy
But its just another ****** outcome of pain all over again...
.
I have never felt depression worst than this
Slits on my wrists
Tears that race down my face
Maybe ill just go stand in the rain
Cause that way no one can see ur tears and pain
I cry and hell i wish i could end it all and fly into heaven
But thats not how it works
All these ropes have ties
And i cant undo all my crimes and cries attached to them
.... ....
-Mari De Villiers xoxo