She had tried to **** herself many times....she called herself a "failed suicide-ist" and this was one of the times she lived to tell the tale. Alas there would come a time when she succeeded. She said that the feeling would overcome her rather than a clear decision....that the feeling made the decision for her... the world would shrink down to a nothingness and that in this great darkness...death was the only door and that she was so grateful that it opened for her. She was always so angry with the people who saved her.


***


The Lady of Shalott (1832)

ALFRED, LORD TENNYSON

Part I

On either side the river lie
Long fields of barley and of rye,
That clothe the wold and meet the sky;
And thro' the field the road runs by
       To many-tower'd Camelot;
The yellow-leaved waterlily
The green-sheathed daffodilly
Tremble in the water chilly
       Round about Shalott.