Al Capone called a hit from some Chicago hideout
and there was a ****** of a bunch of other mobsters
and a reporter came in and said I had more brains on my shoes
than in my head
and isn't that funny?

I took a risk, I know I'm a crazy loon when it comes to guys
some guy I don't even like that much but I turn to him in my
pain trying to get through my days, now
and I try to get him to go out but no there are excuses
and suggestions of him drinking a bunch of beers when one
makes him whoozy
and it was a Thursday, and I was back after two days
trying to plan my new life and everyone there was so nice
so I come back to "that place" to do my sentence, and
I can't find him at his normal spot--he's hiding in a little room
in a bunch of chemicals
and we talk and I ask him about going out after work
and he states flatly I have a date

And it's like I've been hit by an invisible bomb
I don't know what registered on my face
adrenaline rush in my stomach and just trying to fake it kool
like no big deal, I can't get you to come out, but
his ex girlfriend set him up with a woman and he "has to" go
and I translate in my mind, you "want to" go
and it feels sickening things were a
little more hopeful, driving through the fields of Monterey and a friendly
department at Cal State Monterey Bay

And wind, and sand dunes, and a hope for a better future
and now this. So I stammer out a couple of lame things
and he tells me he doesn't like girlfriends and will be single until he's 75
and I don't know what happens then and he's 41 and only been with someone for three
months, tops and I just sit there,

the kids, high school romance all around and hearts and chocolate and balloons
and stuffed animals and they ask me what I'm doing for Valentine's day
and I say, the guy I liked just told me he's going out with someone else

So I come home and mix up some crystal light and ***** like four times
until i'm talking to myself in a Southern Accent and explaining to myself
why this hurts and my cat lies across my face and purrs so all I can hear
is a smooth soothing sound and I cry and cry

And I know, I'm not ready for the dating game.  Because if I was
I'd have someone up my sleeve too and I'd be comparing and contrasting
and all of that
but I don't
I just took a risk on a flirt and I knew I could get hurt

and all the empty desperation of my child self abandoned floods back
in and my friend says you don't want him, really

and it's true and I cry again and nothing makes sense