Like the blooming of the green on dead branches during spring
When the color all starts shining in and the birds begin to sing,
I'm bursting through my black and white and coming out my skin.
Alarmed I don't recognize the colors, or that deceitful twisted grin,
I think, "****, that can't be me. Have I always been so thin?"
And I watch as every soul I've touched lines up to throw the towel in.
I'm standing nose to nose with my reflection, I'm screaming in her face,
And I put a crack in that glass mirror for every mistake I'll ever make.
Pathetic and self loathing, I raise my arms out to the sky
Screaming, "Alright, that's it, I'm giving in. Oh god, just let me die."
I wear my scars with shame and anger, I'm losing faith in getting well
And I walk around draining my color, I create myself this hell
Reverting back to black and white, its a Russian winter in my mind
Don't even dream of trying to take me by surprise,
Let me struggle to get out alive.