today i proclaim
with absolutely no shame
that Gilette straight up lied to you.

they promised you the best,
but let's put that to the test -
let's see what my wit and wisdom can do.

don't be sad, or even mad,
have patience,
and you'll be glad -
i'm the best stress buster you never knew.

and in good time,
with some reason and no rhyme,
you'll find that you'd like some of me too.