I turned off my phone for an hour. I took down my pictures of him on my walls. They're in the top drawer of my tall dresser. I haven't turned my phone back on yet. I don't want to see if hes answered me. If theyre going to be what I think they'll be then I don't want to see them. He's got a rope around the last piece of my heart I was willing to give out to someone. I don't want to let it go yet. I think I have to soon, though. I just want to hang on to the last bits of good feeling I have before he yanks it away from me to keep forever. I didn't feel human when I met him. I don't want to feel inhuman again. I think im going to no matter the odds. Im turning my phone back on now. wish me luck.

It's 10:02 pm. I haven't opened up my phone yet. There's a single message from him waiting to be seen. I'm scared.

here I go

It wasn't as bad as I expected. But he didn't answer all my questions. Though, I did bombard him with a lot of them, so.

I thought I wanted to remember, but now I just want to forget.

I feel like i'm in a dream. A nightmare that I can't wake up from. I'm going for a walk. I need to leave.