your actions dont match what you preach in fact its the ******* opposite.... where is this "love" you constantly talk about? where is the "grace" you say we are suppose to show? you wonder why were not like a family?....because of hurtful words like those... you play your act well up front but behind the scenes you falsely accuse others.. yet your a leader in church? you speak of love and hope yet you show others no grace! you tell others to be kind and gentle yet you shove darts by my ears and hold me by my throat who are you to judge? who are you to be a leader? this is why i go to judah praise... this is why i struggle going back every time... this is why its hard to get involved because everytime i try they dont need me, why? because im just some messed up teenager. stop thinking of me like that! stop putting these labels on me, it hurts! and STOP EXPECTING ME TO MESS UP! i thought this was a hopspital for the sinners... not a party for the saints? God.... i dont wanna play church anymore! i am serious about my passion for god! but stop pushing me aside.... telling me im worthless... you do so much to just get the show ready your forgetting that gods not in the picture its you controling it.... dont you realize worship is more than just reading a sheet of music? dont you see? you spend so much time practicing and practicing, its just to performance oriented for me.. it may work for some but not for me... i just want to be FREE! is that so much to ask? is anyone just FREE anymore?? i dont see it... not here.. who are you to bash my fathers name! you dont even know him! all you know of him is what you think you know and what you go on gossiping to others after service! you dont know what my fathers been through! hes the only one who still keeps me going! hes the only one who understands me and will acturally listen to me! do you not understand that? why does this happen in church?
still christian but church bothers me. not really poetry