No one ever truly prepares you for your first heartbreak.
The crushing, earth shattering impact,
It leaves you breathless,
Barely standing,
Knowing that you should be able to move on, but being unable to.
But then you do,
Move on, that is.
It's growth,
It's wonderful,
A journey of self-discovery and worth.
No.
No one can every truly prepare you for that first punch,
That first blow.
The real kicker though,
the one that knocks you to the ground,
It's the one you weren't expecting.
The one that can hit you at any point in your life.
The one where you were too caught up in your own shit to see it,
To know your heart,
To recognize that the love you always wanted was possible,
It was right there.
Too caught up in yourself to see that he was there,
Waiting.
And you left him there,
Waiting.
You didn't catch up with what he already knew,
And now he's gone.
The inside of you heart feel full of ick and filth,
Like it will never truly be pure,
Or whole,
Or anything close to okay again.
It's a disease,
And you are the virus,
The pathogen.
The source.
The unexpected heartbreak is the one you should be worried about.
I can't prepare you,
But I can try.