There are phrases spoken that sound a bit like "I no longer need you,"
but through the whistle of the words it comes out like an apology or,
depending on the direction the wind is blowing, a rhetorical question.
There are moments spent walking through snow drifts at noon with
heavy feet and a crackling at the bottom of my throat thinking
this is not your season for me. Your voice was never cold and damp
it was clear even when it broke, calming and clean. There are dreams
that you don't occupy anymore and when the great flood came
and the world was like a giant Roman pool in which the entire population bathed,
you were missing from the scenario. I swam from the steps of my dorm building
all the way to the ocean and when I realized I hadn't found you on the journey,
I turned back around to search. There are nights when bouys look more appealing
than constant breast back butterfly strokes through the sweat and salt
but then there are mornings that remind me
this will make me stronger. This will make me see.