i'm sitting in my high school choir room
staring at the walls that have shaped me
words of those who love me ringing in my ears
how do i leave this place?
i always have had a habit of leaving things better than i found them.
but i've never been one walk away, so much as i've had to be dragged.
blink.
it's 4:30am in a one bedroom apartment in my hometown,
everything is different, but good.
i have learned what it means to let new people know you,
i have learned how to be a part of something again.
i hope they don't leave
please don't leave.
blink.
seven tequila shots deep with people who have known me since the day i was placed on this earth.
maybe family doesn't have to hurt.
maybe god has been trying to bring me back here since the moment i left.
is this what it's like to feel safe? i forget.
i'll take the healing, even if it's only for a night.
blink.
monday afternoon,
staring at the walls of my college music library
(music stopped being about singing a long time ago.)
i have learned about cognitive dissonance the hard way,
there is nothing left of me.
he took it all the day he told me he loved me but he wanted to shatter me
and didn't look back as he slammed the door.
it's true, i have a nasty habit of trying to leave things better than i found them
but the real issue lies in the fact that i've never been one to walk away
so much as i've had be dragged.