Been a lot of **** that I held back
But I will let you know now
I feel the darkness of loneliness
Blackout, it's getting dark in here

Turn on the light, let me see what's in front of me
All of a sudden, this picture I painted just turned ugly
I'm trying to do good, but the devil's ******* with me
Because I never had no grief,
But now I am some ******* heat

It seems like every time I get it I lose it
Get it, abuse it, and what I'm left with is useless
Because three years in a row, I felt like the world was mine
And three years in a row, I lost it all in the blink of an eye
And I believe what I do will come back one day
But why am I still losing?
I can't take the pain
Am I to blame?
Please excuse me for my rotten ways
I'm just trying to do what I got to do

Get down and pray for me
To the souls from up above
And hopefully my guardian angel will show me some love
Forgive me for my sins and all the **** that I did
Hopefully in my dreams so wild
(If I ever have) It won't reflect on my child

They say, "One day here, it'll make sense"
That's why we get drunk and stay bent
Even the rose grows from the pavement
Yet I stay hidden in my mind's basement

I feel like I was born with stress on me
The only feeling I have in this world is the life within
Though my heart the doctor says is impaired
My blood it still flows red

You have to be near dead to see the nights I been through
**** near dead to feel the wind beneath you
Envisioning so much, my minds an open window
Where I gather all these thoughts for all your broken info
If seeing is believing then there's more to live for
My only reasoning is breathing
And I live to just hope
I live but I feel like I am on dope

I am just numb to the world
And everything in me
Like being at the bedside of a loved one
Waiting for them to die peacefully

And what you know about no heat and no electric?
I sold my soul to pay the bills, I'm so pathetic
I wake up and go to work, back aches and my shoulders and chest hurt
And what's it worth? I'm easily checked and don't control my earth
Still walk these hollow grounds, being lost but never found
Say to the Lord, "I'll die for love", but there's never sound
Screaming in vein, everything seeming the same
Ask my God, "What's the problem, why am I feeling this way?"
Ask my God, "Can you solve it?", this game, I'm bleedin' to stay

More than willing to give it up if I can't live it up
Hand in my head, gun in my lap
I try to maintain, the pain is unstoppable
Put my life on my back and I maneuver through the obstacles

Maybe I am not worthy of your bitterness or pain