I’ll never fully understand the time
you told me
you were proud of me
and even less
the reason why
you didn’t give me a reason why

I’ll never know whether
your words
begin on your lips
or if they slyly slip
out from someplace called
your heart

I’ve never seen your heart

And as bad as I was at
dissecting
in high school biology
I find myself
digging under your skin
to try and reach
your ribcage

I want to know
how you hold yourself
together