Don't you see my heart inside
is breaking deeply, as I cry?
Or do you tell yourself these lies
as you stare at her with cursed, loving eyes.
I can't fully blame you, I try to hide
but you don't care to search,
don’t care to try.
I know I try to seem big and tall,
but inside of me feels very small,
and you’re the reason when I feel tears,
I wipe my eyes before they fall
because I'm ashamed.
I don't want to be a human,
full of these emotions,
and a huge throbbing heart
that can be stabbed until it bleeds.
and if I'm sad,
I don't want you to see
because that means
I let you get to me.
But it was truly inevitable
since I couldn't keep you away.
And it's a shame,
that you don't care you hurt me.
Yeah, you'll pretend you don't see,
and I'll pretend I don't care,
but I'm just feeling so weak.
And we’re still family, right?
But with the things that you've done,
you know you've broken that bond.
It's funny how you’re one of the only ones
I let into my heart.
I gave you a special place,
with a reserved seat,
and it didn't take you too long
to slowly rip it out clean.
And you try to act like you don't know,
or that you just didn't notice,
and I'm just so ignorant
that I went with the flow.
I still recall those good times
when we all used to play
we would have such good times,
we would waste the day away.
but now I realize the whole time,
I was only a pawn
to get closer to her
and when I was kicked out,
you two would play alone at dawn.
It was a cursed love.
It was never meant to be.
I guess it could be compared to
Romeo and Juliet,
with all intended irony.
You never really cared about me, it seems,
and yet we call this family.
I couldn’t believe you really loved me,
because that's not how family treats their loved ones.
and if it is,
I want nothing to do with it.
Please just stay away from me.
It just hurts too much.
I'm forced to face you,
and act like I'm okay
like I don't go through what I go through.
You expect me to lie for you
and for some reason I do.
I really wish for you to hurt,
the same way you made me,
but in doing so
I’d be admitting I let you hurt me.
I'm too ashamed.
even though I shouldn't be,
you should.
But you'll still act like you don't see,
You'll all still act,
like we're one big, happy family.