"AHHHH SWEET MYSTERY OF LIFE
       AT LAST I'VE FOUND YOU!"

What?

You think I don't know?
I do so know!

All that cabbages and stork sutt
...strictly for the little kids.

Where babies come from
was now a mystery

no more!

Who told me?
Who told me!

A movie told me
that's who!

Allow me to
set the scene for you.

It is a dark and stormy night
you know the movie cliche kind.

A horse gallops across
a black and white countryside

under a celluloid moon
racing past

stage set trees
to the lonely homestead.

Doc and horse
arrive dead beat.

Flecks of foam
around the horse's bit.

Doc chewing the end
of his moustache.

The camera closes in on
golden embossed lettering

on the ******* bag
clutched in his right hand.

Doc. Something something
or other.

"Hot water...towels!"
he barks curt commands.

His wire framed glasses
flash in the lamplight.

Mounts the stairs
Rolls up sleeves.

Howls and moans
behind the bedroom door.

Father helpless
paces the floor.

Then a mere
movie moment later

Doc announces
"It's a boy!"

What joy!
"And - a girl!"

Both newborns
wail!

The babies have appeared
as if by magic.

They weren't in the room
before!

Then it hits me!
Been staring me in the face

all this time
doh!

Don't know why I didn't
cotton on earlier.

Doc. has obviously
smuggled the babies

in his ******* bag
the golden embossed lettering

shining in the candlelight
the neigh of a horse.

Now there's nothing
I don't know!