The fear for my health, to see myself
even worse than this.

I cry and tear myself apart in frustration.

You who were supposed to guide me and follow me-
to teach me how to live, to teach me how to survive.

It is in my body now, it is pain and it is ugly.
I am ugly. I am in pain.

It's humiliating.

I try my best- I want to be the best, to win over everyone.
I need to satisfy my superiority complex-

Eva has been through it all, "You're the best!".

And yet with my smile, with my skin, with my breaths... with my gaze
it all falls apart.

I am so glad to be able to write, to be able to see, to sing...
But I wish I couldn't- I wish it to be over, this humiliation.

I am tired of not existing, I can't do it anymore.
And yet I will never be able to end it.

It's so humiliating.
I just want to be like everyone else.