As the blood and water runs down my back  I am reminded of the past running through that film wheel of my life and all the sepia making it seem better than it was I see it projected onto the wall I can see the smiles but I can't see the happiness that my brain said was there and as I can finally notice the blood stopping I leave this night and as I step out this shower in which I could wash away the sins of my past I can feel the blood beginning to ooze out again and as I go the film wheel I begin to break and tear it apart once I am lying on this cold ground weeping tears which I thought were all gone I am greeted by the hand of my present and as it begins to patch the wound of my past I no longer feel that crimson warmth  I only feel that warmth I had so long seeked as it smiles towards me I can see it gleaming and blinding but why is this one not empty