I stood there alone in that sun-drenched field
The grass was all dead,
It was stiff yet it would still yield.
I was plugged in, dead to all but what I saw.
I let the music wash over me as I wished the stinging in my eyes would subside.
There was no one around, no to hear me yell or cry.

The strange thing was, I didn’t do either.
I couldn’t, wouldn’t, or didn’t want to.
Whatever the case, I knew that I would have to move soon.

The world around me was as dead as it could be,
Yet it seemed so bright and clear
Almost as if it were somehow happy.

Not once, despite this strange quandary
Did I get the feeling.
The one of sadness and extreme self-loathing.
I just stood there and watched as this pristine world
Slowly shaped itself and the clouds whirled.

For once, there was no logic or extraneous though.
I felt one with this world, I was newly begot.
Reborn to peace, a happiness inside.
My darkness dispelled, yet I still didn’t cry.

That was it, all that I felt.
I was looking through a crystal lens at it all,
And it made me feel so fake,
Like I was drawn into a photograph by some cartoonist.

Yet, I knew I was there.
I felt he swinging of the camera around my neck
And the bite of the cold on my cheeks.
But not much else.

I was happy for a time, so very pleased
But slowly I came to center
And that elation ceased.
I felt nothing, was nothing, and knew nothing.

I was just there, a being without purpose
A man without reason
And a boy staring at the swaying trees.

The only thing that dared cross my mind
Was a thought of you
And how I wished you were there upon that windswept field with me.