The streetlights covered us
As we stopped in front of the grocery store
You took my hand and told me
That you had to go
I was to say alright
When you held my face with your hand
As lightning would be
Combustion was taking over
And you left
With more than what you had
When you came
 
My love
My drug
My gun
 
I was overwhelmed
I gave you all
I was dumbfounded
I had taken that fall
Your physique was not that of a god
Your voice was like an offbeat rhyme
 
You were my marijuana
My ecstasy
My V’s
I was an addict
I could not stop
Smoke you, swallow you, inhale you
However I take you
It was never enough
 
That addiction left me a souvenir
 
I struggled and fought
I endured every twists and turns
Of this obstacle course
Even when you told me to quit
Even when you cheered for me
To give up
 
I had cuts. I had wounds.
They itch like nothing else before
I’m scratching
I’m scraping them off
They’re bleeding but I feel no pain
I pour in peroxide
Still, I feel nothing
My eyes stare blankly into space
I despise it.
That I’m not hurting
I loathe it
That I’m not craving
Like a user just coming out of rehab
 
My world rotated around you
Like the moon circling the sun
Alas, I have lost that orbit
 
My tongue fooled me
Thought you tasted like manna
When I have consumed you
You were just bread from the store
 
I refuse to know
I refuse to hear
That you are willing to fight
My dear
 
I write these lines
Not knowing what will happen
If they reach you
 
I look outside through the window
I take a breathe in
The stench of alcohol fills the air
People gambling, people drinking
Our neighbor just died
And his wake his being held outside
They seem to be enjoying themselves
As they chat with one another
Come to think of it
We live in the neighborhood
But I don’t know their faces
Just like yours
Unfamiliarity is consuming me
 
I’ve tried to remember
I’ve pretended to leave you
Convinced myself
That I can not leave you
Cut-up Angels plays on
 
I hear your voice once more
Like a microphone feedback
You hurt my ear
 
Will you shoot me
When you come back?
Will you ignite the gunpowder
In the pores of my skin?
 
Tomorrow
If you put a bullet through my head
And I survive,
I will definitely live
 
My love
My drug
My gun
 
This night
Humidity is high
The air sears me
Dirt sticks to my skin
 
As the moon turns gibbous tonight
Waning
As I am to you
I lit up a Black one
Fill myself up with nicotine
Hurray for cigarettes
***** drugs