she is much less than necessary

laying in the dark, she is
replaying dreams and conversations
she remembers from 2008,
each clueing her in on why
this cycle began in the first place

she is much less than a necessity

and every once in a while,
when she becomes suddenly
and urgently in demand,
she is there
and she is his

but she is much less than crucial

the cycle she is living in
is made up of worrying
and waiting and tapping
her foot and holding
her breath
and then--
she is relieved for a moment,
maybe two, because for that
short amount of time,
she is indispensible--
and then suddenly she is
worrying, waiting,
scratching at her knuckles
and running out of air

she is much less than necessary
she is much less than important