You can be the most loving and gentle man i have ever known, but not so much here lately. You have this other side to you consumed by addiction. The good side of you is losing by a long shot and exposing the worst ugly side of you gradually. Selfish, inconsiderate,hurtful in so many ways. Solely being motivated by then need for one more line.  Pushing me aside and destroying our love by abandoning me for the one thing that really gets you high. Shutting me out because you don't want to listen to me tell you how your actions are damaging me. Little by  little , piece by piece you are tearing me down and with every time i'm learning to hate you with each passing day. Self absorbed ***** that tries to turn the tables on me. A coward that runs from conversations with meaning because expressing feelings are scary. I've made you aware that this kind of life is not the life i want indefinitely. So you tell me you'll try and in a blink of an eye change your mind. Then abruptly discarding me cause losing me is better than feeling guilty during high times. Something dark is now living in your soul, the man i love is gone possibly never to return. You have never been so cruel, you have never tried so hard to hurt me so viciously. Where is the man that loved me effortlessly and made me his main concern. Now your drifting in time , nothing but a hollow entity. all that remains of you is an unworthy poor excuse for what use to be a genuinely good man. Please explain what i ever did to deserve you to demean me with such devices and triggering me to doubt myself intensively. admittedly i have let my emotions get the best of me, yes i have said hurtful things and i have questioned your motives and expressed insecurities. I've lost my patience and began to feel i couldn't trust or depend on you for much of anything yet through the havoc with you I stand. Almost convinced i might just be crazy because why am i still trying to love the shell of who you used to be and hurting me intentionally to feed your own narcissistic tendencies.