I keep flip flopping between thinking I could deserve something and knowing that I will always be left wanting something I can never truly have.
The evidence of past moments where I had everything ruin my expectations of always having nothing.
Affection, it's such a huge side of what I define as happiness...yet when I have had it, I still find myself wanting more. Or at least something slightly different from what I already had.
My first love, my first proposal, and the moment that is identical to both where I knew it wasn't real.
Slap of reality turns my eyes down again, my life is only the next foot step...and they all end up being the same leading me no where.




*Fall2012