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Feb 2019
I've been in the dark for so long, never knowing what went wrong.
People stuck knives in my dying heart, and soon it all fell apart.
I don't have much to say about a specific feeling.
It's an emotion that keeps coming back to me, and again I found myself clinging.
Love isn't real.
Love isn't worth it.
My broken heart says it all, love is a living hell.
Maybe since all the people who've made me feel that certain emotion, killed my heart, with a unlovable potion.
I don't see the reason to keep going, my inner demons drag me down, to keep from floating.
I'm gone.
I'm done.
I had a good run.
This is goodbye to all love life.
I don't want to be stabbed by another knife.
As I close my eyes for rest, just all tired of this mess.
The darkness suddenly brightens.
And my eyes widen.
I stare at the burning flame that sits beyond the glass wall I've created.
I don't want to be again defeated.
I can't look away, I feel a pain in my chest.
I know this feeling.
The emotion I hate, I really thought I locked that gate.
I don't want to feel it again, but this light seems different.
I place my hand on the glass, and feel a burning warmth.
The light then speaks without words, guiding me forwards.
I follow the light from the other side of the glass.
Visions of the past, and what has happened before, no, I don't want it anymore.
But for the first time in forever, my path is lit, my body trembled, I keep telling myself I don't want it.
Not again, please not again.
Love isn't real.
Love is gone.
Love is dead.
But, still, what's going on in my head.
I can't think anymore.
And soon I unlock the secret door.
Love has punched me right in my chest, I can't believe I fell again.
But the light caught me, and told me to believe in it, and believe in me.
For the light, will set me free.
No more pain.
No more lies.
It said it loved me, and will be there till the end of time.
I can't believe I'm doing this, but the light, I trust it.
It never once wronged me, it guided me out of the darkness, and soon I felt a happy brightness.
I come to see the light is human.
And she takes my hand and says, "unlike the others, I am not a demon."
She embraces me, nothing else matters.
So you see, that's me so far, please be carful, don't fall to deep in the dark.
Who knows my friends who have read this far, you will find your own burning flame.
They'll save and protect you from all of the despair.
You are a broken machine, and they will definitely repair.
They will never hurt and never lie.
And best of all, they will never say goodbye.
I know I write a lot about how much love doesn't exist. I've been hurt so many times, by people I actually really liked. But, there's this one person who hasn't once hurt me or lied. And I think I've fallen, so far they've been nothing but good.
I don't know what to do.
But, I swear to God and on my life, if this special person leaves or breaks me.
I'm definitely done with love.
It's been nothing but pain and it's so tiring.
But with this person, I'm always happy and never really tired. I can tell them anything and no matter how stupid I am, they never judge me.
Knowing this love is coming from her, I can live forever.
Ash Bash Smash Crash
Written by
Ash Bash Smash Crash  14/Hell
(14/Hell)   
144
 
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